Keep Your Friends Close, And Your Enemies Unarmed

Hillary is being strongly considered for Secretary of State -- possibly having already been offered the job.

Let's assume that President-elect Obama is fully aware that Mrs. Clinton wants his job. Let's assume he knows she may not plan to wait 8 years to make another go at it. We must then conclude that he believes he has more to gain from nominating her to this position than he has to lose. How can he believe this?

He is perhaps obsessing over this desire to prove that he is above politics and can persuade even his rivals to follow him. That his strength of leadership and his charismatic personality will overwhelm any ill intentions.

Having conquered the largest empire in human history, I can assure you that there are political battles to be won along the way. You cannot be above politics, or you will find yourself tumbling over it. And if his life ambitions do not include political battles, he has found himself in the wrong line of work.

So, who do you put in the position of Secretary of State, and where do you put a person like Mrs. Clinton? For the real power positions, the ones that put people in position to really threaten you, always place a person with absolutely zero possibility of upward movement. Someone who would be nobody without you, and will be nobody again when you are gone.

A quick look back will confirm this: Condoleezza Rice, Colin Powell, Madeleine Albright, Warren Christopher, and so on. I did not say these were unaccomplished people -- that is not the point. But none of them can achieve higher office. The first two are too liberal to succeed in their own party, the second two are simply not attractive enough to run for a higher office. And with the exception of Christopher, all owe most of their careers to the president who nominated them (or his father, ahem).

There is one position even more dangerous than Secretary of State, and that of course is Attorney General. The list: Michael Mukasey, Alberto Gonzales, John Ashcroft, Janet Reno. Again, long term loyalties and no hope for advancing.

6 of the first 15 Presidents were former Secretary of States, and 0 of the last 29! Did we learn something? Any bets on whether the 45th President will be a former Secretary of State? Attorney Generals have not fared so well, but prior to the last 50 years, that position has nothing like the power it has now.

Some readers have asked, "What can Hillary do as Obama's Secretary of State that will hurt him and help her?"

Rest assured, dear readers, you could spend years pondering that question, the Clintons can invent 10 new answers over tea.

If your rivals have potential, make them the Secretaries of Energy and Transportation. Places where they'll only be noticed in the event of failure. Better to name Bill Ayers Attorney General and Jeremiah Wright the Secretary of State.

Bad News For Bike Manufacturers

I am reading frequently that the closing of GM (executives claim, dubiously, that bankruptcy is not an option, that it's bailout or die) will cause complete devastation to the entire auto industry. Not just car manufacturers, but suppliers, dealers, repair shops, road construction crews, and so on.

I have bad news for Schwinn. As much as I'd like to see Americans get more daily exercise, this notion of the disappearing American car is complete fiction.

The story they feed the news outlets goes like this. GM goes down, and nobody can ramp up production to replace the GM cars. So the suppliers fail. When the suppliers fail, Ford and Chrysler (which is now a German company, not that anyone has noticed) fail because they have no more parts. So all the dealerships fail, and so does everyone else.

Let's assume that GM can't go into bankruptcy (a silly assumption, but let's assume it anyway). They would then sell all those shiny auto factories to ... who? To the highest bidder, as always. Probably not Ford, or Chrysler LLC, since they have no money. But Honda and Toyota could buy those factories, along with the trademarks, designs, patents, and everything else. Or maybe someone completely different. I suspect Mitt Romney could put together some investors. The point is that someone will pay something, however small, for GM's assets.

So now someone has the factories, designs, trademarks, and patents. What they don't have is the crippling debt, or the union contacts. Will they have trouble finding employees to work at a competitive (non-union) rate? Not a chance. And if Michigan law or union thugs get in the way, the factories will be torn down and moved to Ohio, or Georgia, or Alabama. (And now is a great time for disruptions -- demand is down and inventories are up.)

People want cars. They need them. They'll get them. They will be built.

I don't think many people realize that the conditions at the "Big 3" are preventing competitive forces from working across the industry. The North American Toyota and Honda factories don't experience anything like the competitive pressures that they would face if the factories in Detroit were forced to compete. This is the time for that to happen.

Demand it.

The Two Questions I Get Most Often

In the wake of the elections, I'm getting another onslaught of attacks by Ron Paul supporters blaming me for their candidate's failure to secure the Republican nomination, and thus for the success of the Democrats, and therefore everything bad that they believe will ensure over the next four years.

Ahem. I've been blamed for worse.

So the most popular question I get is from them. It is one version or another of, "Oh yeah, Mongrel, what's a dollar worth then? Isn't it just a promissory note to pay back another meaningless dollar?"

No. One U.S. dollar is, in essence, a share in the U.S. economy. It's the legal tender of U.S. economic activity. As the economy grows, the value grows. When more paper is printed, it is analogous to a stock split, only you don't get the split shares. At least not directly.

Now for the second question: "Why is there evil and suffering in the world?"

Evil is in the world for the same reason that Napolean was at Waterloo. This world is the chosen battleground for the destruction of evil. That is why it was made. Not for constant comfort and ease, but as a final battleground.

Do not shirk from the fight. I am your Khan. I am your Khagan. Be strong.

You want to spend $700 Billion on what?

Dear Genghis,
Is the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 a good thing?

Having conquered the largest empire in all of history may not make me an expert on running an investment bank, but I know enough to fire (OK, in my day it was more like set on fire, officials who are either so incompetent or so corrupt, that they would ask to send $700 Billion to companies owned by their old friends.

Do you know what your government will be getting for the tidy sum of $700 Billion? It must be several million mortgages backed by houses, right? Hardly. The current text of the as-yet unfinalized bill refers to buying "residential or commercial mortgages and any securities, obligations, or other instruments that are based on or related to such mortgages." Then there is further language authorizing Secretary Paulson to buy anything he wants from his old buddies. The point is that the stuff Goldman Sachs et. al. want to unload on the government are mortgage backedderivatives, not mortgages. These are instruments that very realistically may expire with absolutely zero value. You don't get to wait for the housing market to stabilize (as though $450k starter homes represent a stable value!).

Nobody -- nobody -- thinks these investments are worth what the government will pay if Secretary Paulson is allowed to buy them from his friends. How do I know? Quite simple -- the investment banks will see to the highest bidder, and Paulson is asking to be that bidder.

Secretary Paulson insists that the world economy will collapse tomorrow if his plan isn't enacted today. (Yes, just like he said over a week ago). The President has checked out, and Paulson can find dozens of investment bankers to back him up in saying that it's really, really important that they get that $700 billion check as soon as possible.

Pathetic.

Here's how an economy works. Somebody grows some tomatoes for you. You fix their plumbing. As long as you are willing to do something for someone else, and let someone else do something for you, the economy will continue. The final ingredient, of course, is money. And that is what the investment bankers want you to think we will somehow run out of.

First of all, a flood of restless capital is what got us into this mess, as I wrote 10 months ago. And I'm willing to bet that you're still getting letters in the mail asking you to borrow more money at a low interest rate for six months. Trust me, the money is still there.

There's one thing the Fed can do that nobody else can, and it isn't buy bad debt. They can control the money supply. They've gotten in this mess by printing cash in an effort to forever forestall a recession. Now Paulson wants out, but not before the most massive graft the world has every seen. Hey, everyone does it, why not do it big?

If the problem were really just at-risk loans "clogging" the balance sheets, the banks would call their customers and say, "That $400k house you bought that's really worth $220, yes, of course you can't afford $400k, but that didn't bother us. Tell you what, you only owe us $210 -- how does that sound?" Presto. A "bad" mortgage just went "good," you swallow the $190k loss, and the balance sheet is no longer clogged.

Yeah, they're in a bad spot. You can't do the above with a mortgage derivative. In some cases their loses are simply too high. That's why you have laws for bankruptcies and bank runs.

No, you wouldn't want to go belly up either. Not if you had a good friend with $700 billion in his pocket.

Coming in Second Place

While I will not be revealing Senator McCain's VP selection, I will now reveal the last runner up. And no, Senator McCain will not be releasing the name of the final selection early ... the campaign tactics (in part derived from the battle philosophies of your Khagan) are to repeatedly test the enemy with small tactical strikes, to learn how he thinks, how he reacts, what he is capable of. For instance, suggest that you might step all over his convention. See how he reacts. Instead of stepping on the convention, release an ad congratulating him; see how he reacts.


The 2nd place finisher in the race for Republican VP was Neil Diamond:

Technically, the first choice for VP was Rachael Muhammad Gonzales, as the $23 million dollar software they purchased insisted that the surest path to victory was to find a running mate of that name, however no such person could be found. So, the computer said, the next best thing was to find someone with great appeal to disaffected Hillary voters, primarily women 55 to 69. Thus, the Jazz Singer.

Neil Diamond is certainly no conservative, but was vacuous enough to fill the VP role on virtually any ticket (I'm largely echoing the opinions of the political class here, I'm no expert on these things, so I hope nothing is lost in translation). The fallout came over the campaign theme song. To nobody's surprise, Neil insisted that one of his songs be made the new campaign theme song. Senator McCain and the political class found a few that they thought could work. "America", "I'm a Believer", "Solitary Man", "The Boat That I Row", they were even to take a chance with, "Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show", but Mr. Diamond would have none of them.

Neil insisted on using "You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore." That, it was decided, would sink the campaign, and nobody could understand why he would want to use it. He kept insisting, "It's my favorite song," and occassionally adding, "I think maybe I could bring Barbra Streisand onboard with it. Maybe."

I'm told someone finally told him what everyone thought of Babs, and maybe his music in general, leading to a blowup that threw out his voice. And that was that.

Congratulations, Senator Obama!

I absolutely had to write tonight to congratulate Senator Obama on this great achievement, becoming the first African American to win the nomination of a major United States political party. A fantastic accomplishment, on behalf of his party and his nation.

Now, regarding his selection for vice president, I'm not so happy. I find it personally offensive that of the 6+ billion people in the world, Senator Obama saw fit to select the one man known to be the least likely to be one of my descendants. Senator Clinton is a much stronger, bolder pick, and we are at this time attempting to document her direct descent from your Khagan.

I have spent much of the last 7 months repeatedly watching Mongol, easily the best movie ever made, starring the amazingly handsome Tadanobu Asano. I'm perhaps a bit biased, as I was used extensively as a consultant on this film. You should watch this movie at least once each week. I'm am your Khan. I am you Khagan.

Regarding the presidential process again, you will recall my involvement with Governor Huckabee, and to an extent with Senator McCain, see below. These contacts led to my introduction to the American commanders fighting the Iraq war, and thus the inevitable defeat of the evil enemies there. These efforts are nearly complete, and I will meet with Senator McCain again presently.

My best to you all.

Now I'm Getting Calls From McCain

I had not spoken to Senator McCain since our last discussion, in which he failed to received my endorsement, despite a certain mutual respect. So I was quite surprised to get a call from him yesterday, and even more surprised by the reason for the call.

"Genghis, help me out here. I'm doing everything I can to throw it to the kid, and nothing works. It's out of my control."

"The kid?"

"Huckabee. I saw that you endorsed him. Fair enough. It even got me thinking. Look, I had something to prove, it's true. After George W. Vader beat me in 2k, I really wanted to win. But now there's nothing left to prove. I can win this thing easily. So that's done.

"It's when I started thinking about putting the cabinet together, the first 100 days, all that. Honestly, it's exhausting. Hey, I'm up to it. I feel like I'm 68 again. But then I got to thinking about how I'll be remembered. About the funeral, you know. I mean, you've seen that handsome mug of me shaking Nixon's hand, right?

I assume he means this one:

"That's the picture I want on my casket. But if I win the presidency, I don't get that. I'll get a picture of me in office. Just look at those jowls. I look like I've been sucking face with a leaf blower."

"You'd give up the presidency because of a picture?"

"OK, you got me... it's really that I've got a lot of scores to settle in the Pentagon, and that's hard to do when you're the President. That's where the kid comes in. He's putty in my hands -- he'll make me SECDEF, no question about it. And that's the place to settle those scores -- Rummies old job, eh?"

To the best of my knowledge, Senator McCain had no way to know about my previous discussions with Governor Huckabee here and then here. So I wasn't particularly comfortable getting involved directly. As he pointed out to me, the Senator has already tried the basics: calling interviewers "jerks," telling a 13-year-old kid to shut up and sit down, talking about his age, telling people they can't get their jobs back, so forth. The problem is, as he puts it, "The more I do this stuff, the more they love me. It's a freight train, and I can't stop it."

I can't raze any districts in Michigan. I got away with it in Wyoming, but that's because nobody was paying attention. Assashoryu has already headed back to Mongolia, and Jimmy isn't a lot of help for this kind of thing.

Honestly, you people need to get you election mess straightened out. It's irrational. From here on I'm staying out of it. If you want to conquer Canada, let me know, but this whole election process rots.

UPDATE: McCain thought of a new one: touring a funeral parlor on primary day. Why didn't I think of that? Absolutely brilliant. I think I'll vote for him.

Just Between You And Me

Many of you have sent me notice that some person named Rush has been reading my blog and pretending like it's his work. Well, you'll keep getting the real scoop here, and getting it first. As for Huckabee's earlier panic, the Wyoming primary calmed him down quite a bit. I was able to launch campaigns (of my own kind) in several key districts, razing voting locations, sequestering church-goers, and generally intimidating family-types that would be likely to vote Huckabee. All quite successful.

I talked to him again this morning. Feeling much more confident that things were under his control, he is actually considering, "just going ahead and winning this thing." The downside, as I think I mentioned in the earlier post, is that in 9 years his professional life will be essentially over, and he's much too young for that. But, as I assured him, there's much more to life than one's profession. It can actually be quite nice to just disappear from the scene for a long time.

What really got him thinking, though, was McCain's victory speech. He read it from his written notes. There are very few people that can pull that off and still be interesting, let alone inspiring. McCain isn't one of them. So Mike's thinking maybe he'll just spare himself and the country from having to go through that. No promises, though. As of this morning he's still undecided.

May Your Aim Be True

In the last 36 hours, we've been flooded by readers in Iraq. Yes, I love you too. Yes, I understand. Be true to your CO, but always remember, in spirit I am your Khan, I am your Khagan.

One recent suggestion was quite intriguing. I have been besought to hold a poetry contest on the topic of Candidate Ron Paul, who at this writing has not yet quit. It appears that many were inspired by this poem (written by the candidate himself, though he may not remember):

There once was a man from Green Tree,
Who strove to defend liberty,
Now they call him a joke,
While he pulls on a toke,
But that's just between you and me.

If you feel that writing (or reading) poetry aggravates your fibromyalgia (or any of over 250 other conditions) then perhaps you should consider having that treated, so that your compositions, or enjoyment of said compositions, might continue with aggravations abated. I would not recommend anything untoward, but I'm just you Khan, your Khagan, and you have your God-given conscience to consult.

Entries will be judged solely on merit, and not at all on whether you support or reject Dr. Paul as candidate for President.

Again, to the many new readers in Iraq, you are by sons in spirit, may your aim be true and your armor hold. Fight with the full fury of your calling. I am your Khan. I am your Khagan.

UPDATES: Use "Ask me a question" link to the right to submit -- NOT the comments section; comments are generally tossed. Contest will go until I decide to stop it. Yes, a Mongolian warlord is absolutely qualified to judge a poetry contest, despite my earlier demonstration.

Caucus fallout: Huckabee calls me

First of all, I want to point out that I have now heard two news show hosts use the term "Compassionate Machiavellianism," a term that I coined here. You can easily verify on Google that I invented the term -- I mention that only as a response to the great number of comments I have received concerning the merit of this blog.

But on to the important matters. Governor Huckabee, whom I endorsed several days ago, called today in something close to a panic. I'll relay as accurately as I can what he said. As I've told him, anything he says to me is fair game for my readers. So this is (roughly) what he said:

"I need help on this and there aren't many places I can turn. This has gotten way out of hand. I've been running for VP from the start, doesn't anybody get that anymore? If these other guys had the slightest political sense, I'd have never been up 20 points in Iowa. I mean, I did everything I could to blow it, but it's hard giving up 20 points. I sent Drudge that family photo -- what did that lose me? 2 points? I tried Pakistan, I waffled on my own ads, I hired Rollins -- there's a guy that hasn't won in 23 years, but even he couldn't lose me more than a point or so.

"A win in Iowa I could handle, but come on -- 9 points! And to Mitt who, I'm sorry, the guy tries to solve his "genuineness" problem wearing plaid -- this guy does not belong in the big leagues!

"The numbers are not looking good. McCain is supposed to win this thing for me, but how much help do I need to give him? And John, please, stop telling people you might be too old for a second term -- get on camera drinking a Coke or something, that's all you need to do to win this thing -- it's a WEAK FIELD!

"I may have to turn to Ron Paul for help -- somebody is going to have to scare my voters, but they've got to understand them first. And they can't. These are the same kind of people who try to understand statistics and come up with phrases like, 'statistical tie' -- it just isn't happening."

I calmed him down. This whole VP strategy was news to me, so I got him to explain it. It's really two things -- first, becoming President now means his life is pretty much over in 8 years, and I have to agree, he's far too young for that. Second, he'd like to repeat a trick he pulled off in Arkansas, you can get 2 1/2 terms by inheriting the office before your first election win. I asked him if he can count on that with McCain, and he assured me it was no problem.

OK, so he's calm now. There's still plenty of time to lose this thing, and we might even be able to help McCain with his weaknesses. For my part, I'll be heading over to the Wyoming primaries tomorrow. We've identified some key districts we can raze to suppress the vote. The governor assures me that pretty much anything could happen in Wyoming and the press won't cover it -- so Huckabee fans in Wyoming, stay home tomorrow or you'll meet my hordes.

Endorsement Fallout -- Romney Sends Warning

I got a call from Mitt Romney this morning asking me to reconsider my endorsement of Huckabee. He sent me a 30-sec commercial pointing out that while both he and Huckabee are nice guys, Huckabee supports reparations for those overcome by the Mongolian Empire, and "in general has it out for Mongolia." The commercial is obviously professionally produced, but Romney said it isn't likely to get much air time in New Hampshire. Maybe I can get it posted on YouTube.

I'm not buying it. My endorsement for Huckabee stands.

Huckabeliever

We concluded our interviews with the U.S. Presidential candidates today, having lunch with former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. I was singularly impressed with the man, both as a person, and as a candidate. To begin with, he is able to converse in a way that conveys an interest beyond his own daily ambitions. I have found that to be quite rare, though not entirely unheard of in today's politics. Further, you quickly learn in speaking with Huckabee that he holds views beyond the thin mantras of the consultants and strategists. Again rare. But unlike any other candidate, I found in him a depth and persuasiveness that cultivates trust. It is a quality of leadership that cannot be discovered in polls or purchased from political groomsmen. It is a quality which every people thirsts for, one that can make a nation great.

As Governor Huckabee said to me, "I'm a So-con, but I'm more than that. I'm a Fi-con, but I'm more than a Fi-con. I'm a Neo-con, but I'm not just a So-con, Fi-con, and Neo-con -- I'm what I like to call a Genghis-con, a leader, a man who unites a people and raises them up to greatness.

We talked for hours -- we even prayed together. Then, as I thought we were near to finishing the conversation, I said, not intending much by it, "If I can help you in any way, please let me know."

Much to my surprise, he asked me to join his campaign in an official role. "Look, I've got Chuck Norris, and he's done wonders for my national security chops, if you'll pardon the expression. But I'm still vulnerable on foreign policy, and let's face it, in Chuck's work he's usually defending against an aggressor. I could really use you to give me a little arrogant bunker mentality of my own. I mean, you wiped out nation after nation with no cause for provocation, and that could really balance out the whole "preacher" thing. So what do you say?"

I politely informed the Governor that while the idea was quite intriguing, my visa into the U.S. did not allow me to officially work for any candidate.

At this, Huckabee stood up, walked to the door, shut it, and returned to his chair. "It's O.K., Genghis, I'm your pastor now. I can't be forced to testify against you."

And there you have it. I not only endorse, but am now working for, Governor Mike Huckabee.

(See other candidate interviews: Edwards, Thompson, Clinton, Giuliani, Biden, Paul, Romney, Kucinich, McCain, and Obama.)

Barak Obama Has A Large Smile And A Big Friend

We sat down for an interview with Senator Barak Obama, candidate for the U.S. President Democrat nomination. He had a big smile for us.


After an otherwise uneventful meeting, we were ushered to the door by this man, who spoke to us in flawless Mandarin, saying only, "I know where the bodies are hidden." Odd.