We arrived, and though we were invited guests of the mayor, we were immediately stopped at the door by two of the biggest thugs you've seen in your life. Now, I've been around thugs and fighters all of my life, and let me tell you -- there is a big difference, and these two are of the former sort. I'm not saying they can't fight, and could probably beat most anyone they happen on, but they aren't fighters. Asashoryu is a fighter. These guys were thugs.
So we're stopped, and the stupider looking one of the two says, "Weapons check." That's not a phrase I was personally familiar with, so I just tried my best to mirror the stupid look on the man's face. "No guns in the campaign headquarters," he says.
Ah, OK, fair enough. We don't travel with guns.
But that wasn't good enough. The less-stupid looking one looks at Asashoryu and says, "He's a weapon. He stays outside."
I've by-and-large set my conquering warlord ways aside lately, but some things you just can't resist, can you? So I give Asashoryu the signal.
Asashoryu is a very peaceful man, one of the most peaceful I've met, but he just hadn't been himself since we left Mongolia, and besides, having not been able to meet his strict Sumo dieting regimen while crossing Iowa, I think he basically felt the whole country had it coming.
If you've never seen Asashoryu fight, find a way to do it. He's not just Sumo, he's yokozuna. And he's glory in motion. He made a lightening fast lunge at the dumber (looking) thug, gripping the man's throat with one hand, his groin with the other. He's low, center-of-gravity beneath the thug's, and if you've seen much Sumo, you know it's over at this point. So he lifts the dumber (looking) one into his not-quite-as-stupid-looking friend, top-of-head into the chin, knocking the less-stupid looking one out cold. Then the thug he's grabbing he sends flying.
I don't know if either one ever woke up. Don't really care.
What happened next still leaves me in awe. I just see a blur, and there's this little guy who's jumped up on Asashoryu's back .... one blow to the back of the head, and my fighter buckles under -- out cold like the others. The little guy -- it's America's Mayor, Candidate Giuliani.
So Giuliani points to me and Jimmy. "You two, inside." We go inside, and, I don't know how to explain it, but when the guy tells you to do something, you just do it.
"Sit down. No guns, we've settled that. No tape recorders, no cameras, no 'off-the-record' nonsense. No vandalizing, no graffiti, no pillaging, no racial slurs, none of that America-had-it-coming crap, either. You want some girls, you let me know, just not in Time Square. No chewing gum. No soliciting. No roughhouse, no carousing, no playing peeping-Tom." Then he gets this wide grin, sticks out his hand, "I'm the mayor, it's so good to meet you."
The guy's really warm. We talked the issues -- he's most concerned with terrorism, you know. He's got a pretty good handle on it, not that I'm used to looking at that side of things, realize. He was also quite nice about Asashoryu, once he realized who's skull he'd broken his hand over. I asked him not let word of the incident leak to the JSA, as they've really been out to get him lately. Not only did the mayor promise to keep a cover on it, he said he'd have his people talk to the JSA -- "I'll make it all go away, you've got my word on that." I hope so.
I apologized about the broken hand, and he says, "Hey, I was looking for an excuse to get back to the hospital -- the nurses in there, let me tell you!" Really a disarming sort of guy, pardon the expression.
OK, so can he get the Genghis Khan endorsement? I really like the guy, but let's just say his issues aren't my issues, so we'll see. Meanwhile Asashoryu is doing much better, and in fact, seems to be himself again for the first time since we left Mongolia. Whether it was your prayers, or the fights, I don't know. But on behalf of Mongolia, I thank you.
Next up -- Senator Joseph Biden.
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