Monday, August 27, 2007

Empire Building -- So you've conquered some lands

Genghis:

Now that my generals are finally demonstrating military progress in an ongoing conflict, my domestic political opponents have changed tactics. They are attempting to topple the provincial government I've supported in the conflict area, so that they can use the so-called "lack of political progress" as an excuse to force a withdrawal of our military troops, thus ending the conflict -- in my country's defeat. For some reason, they believe that this would represent a domestic political victory for their faction.

How should I react?

--
W
Yes. OK. It would help if I had some more details about your situation, but I will do what I can for you. My nephew explains to me that with the internet people want anonymity. So you sign your name 'W'. This I don't understand. My nephew says it would be like a field officer sending a messenger, and the messenger refusing to tell me who sent him. I said, "Jimmy, I would know who sent him." And Jimmy-Krak says, "Uncle, it's not like that anymore, you can't just torture people." I say, "I would not need to torture him, I could tell from his smell where he was from, and then I would know who sent him." So he starts on this, "What if he took a bath," and so on, and we argue for an hour, but he's a good nephew and he knows how this internet works so I say, "OK, I think I understand."

Good then. You have generals and you've conquered some land, very good. So you are a Khan, then.

W-Khan, here is how to become a great Khan. Know that you cannot conquer many lands while you still have political opponents at home. But also know that your political opponents will lose their power if you conquer other lands. This has always been true. The timing is not easy, and you must be diligent. Early successes must be used to destroy political opponents, otherwise you will not continue to have successes.

Perhaps you know that I had a very difficult time with my sworn blood-brother, Jamuqa. He would rather tear apart the Monguls than allow me full leadership, and this had to be dealt with. It is not easy to break the back of a blood-brother, but it is better than allowing a great people to destroy themselves with internal conflict. So do what you must do, finish them. But if you wait, you have lost the advantage.

None of that is to say that your opponents are wrong, just that they must be dealt with if you want to be a great Khan. What is this nonsense about supporting a provincial government? Assure me that you are not assisting the lands you have conquered. Who has conquered whom, in that case? Have them pay you tribute, and let them worry about the details of governing. Only supervise enough to make sure they are not reforming significant armies, and if they fail to bring you tribute, take it from whatever resources they have, whether gold, yaks, or fertile wombs. OK? Simple enough.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Let the Dragon Sleep

Many thanks to Dear Reader Charles for the first question:
Great Leader,

What should we make of this story about a remake to Enter the Dragon?"
A very good question. Perhaps you are aware that Bruce Lee is of Mongul blood, and therefore I count him as a son to me. So I find this remake most disturbing. For the younger audiences who are unaware, the title Enter the Dragon has nothing to do with the plot of the movie, but instead with the movie's purpose, the entrance of Lee Jun-Fan, known as Bruce Lee, to America.

So what is the purpose of a remake (titled Awaken the Dragon)? There cannot be another Dragon: Lee was a first to the West, and there is only one first. Perhaps Warner Bros, with whom Lee had a contentious relationship, feel that they are the Dragon, and would like to rewaken their oppression of foriegn actors?

But the truth is probably much simpler. Note that the remake no longer targets drug and slave trafficking, but instead targets fight clubs. It is true, it targets fight clubs. Hmmm, people getting together to practice the arts of physical combat -- sounds like the kind of thing Lee started, not the sort of thing he would target in a movie.

It is a shameful thing, and the work of those who do not know what it means to fight.

"I'm not a master. I'm a student-master, meaning that I have the knowledge of a master and the expertise of a master, but I'm still learning. So I'm a student-master. I don't believe in the word 'master.' I consider the master as such when they close the casket." -- Bruce Lee