What would Genghis Do?

Keep Your Friends Close, And Your Enemies Unarmed

2008-11-21T20:02:00.002-05:00

Hillary is being strongly considered for Secretary of State -- possibly having already been offered the job.

Let's assume that President-elect Obama is fully aware that Mrs. Clinton wants his job. Let's assume he knows she may not plan to wait 8 years to make another go at it. We must then conclude that he believes he has more to gain from nominating her to this position than he has to lose. How can he believe this?

He is perhaps obsessing over this desire to prove that he is above politics and can persuade even his rivals to follow him. That his strength of leadership and his charismatic personality will overwhelm any ill intentions.

Having conquered the largest empire in human history, I can assure you that there are political battles to be won along the way. You cannot be above politics, or you will find yourself tumbling over it. And if his life ambitions do not include political battles, he has found himself in the wrong line of work.

So, who do you put in the position of Secretary of State, and where do you put a person like Mrs. Clinton? For the real power positions, the ones that put people in position to really threaten you, always place a person with absolutely zero possibility of upward movement. Someone who would be nobody without you, and will be nobody again when you are gone.

A quick look back will confirm this: Condoleezza Rice, Colin Powell, Madeleine Albright, Warren Christopher, and so on. I did not say these were unaccomplished people -- that is not the point. But none of them can achieve higher office. The first two are too liberal to succeed in their own party, the second two are simply not attractive enough to run for a higher office. And with the exception of Christopher, all owe most of their careers to the president who nominated them (or his father, ahem).

There is one position even more dangerous than Secretary of State, and that of course is Attorney General. The list: Michael Mukasey, Alberto Gonzales, John Ashcroft, Janet Reno. Again, long term loyalties and no hope for advancing.

6 of the first 15 Presidents were former Secretary of States, and 0 of the last 29! Did we learn something? Any bets on whether the 45th President will be a former Secretary of State? Attorney Generals have not fared so well, but prior to the last 50 years, that position has nothing like the power it has now.

Some readers have asked, "What can Hillary do as Obama's Secretary of State that will hurt him and help her?"

Rest assured, dear readers, you could spend years pondering that question, the Clintons can invent 10 new answers over tea.

If your rivals have potential, make them the Secretaries of Energy and Transportation. Places where they'll only be noticed in the event of failure. Better to name Bill Ayers Attorney General and Jeremiah Wright the Secretary of State.

Bad News For Bike Manufacturers

2008-11-20T23:43:00.002-05:00

I am reading frequently that the closing of GM (executives claim, dubiously, that bankruptcy is not an option, that it's bailout or die) will cause complete devastation to the entire auto industry. Not just car manufacturers, but suppliers, dealers, repair shops, road construction crews, and so on.

I have bad news for Schwinn. As much as I'd like to see Americans get more daily exercise, this notion of the disappearing American car is complete fiction.

The story they feed the news outlets goes like this. GM goes down, and nobody can ramp up production to replace the GM cars. So the suppliers fail. When the suppliers fail, Ford and Chrysler (which is now a German company, not that anyone has noticed) fail because they have no more parts. So all the dealerships fail, and so does everyone else.

Let's assume that GM can't go into bankruptcy (a silly assumption, but let's assume it anyway). They would then sell all those shiny auto factories to ... who? To the highest bidder, as always. Probably not Ford, or Chrysler LLC, since they have no money. But Honda and Toyota could buy those factories, along with the trademarks, designs, patents, and everything else. Or maybe someone completely different. I suspect Mitt Romney could put together some investors. The point is that someone will pay something, however small, for GM's assets.

So now someone has the factories, designs, trademarks, and patents. What they don't have is the crippling debt, or the union contacts. Will they have trouble finding employees to work at a competitive (non-union) rate? Not a chance. And if Michigan law or union thugs get in the way, the factories will be torn down and moved to Ohio, or Georgia, or Alabama. (And now is a great time for disruptions -- demand is down and inventories are up.)

People want cars. They need them. They'll get them. They will be built.

I don't think many people realize that the conditions at the "Big 3" are preventing competitive forces from working across the industry. The North American Toyota and Honda factories don't experience anything like the competitive pressures that they would face if the factories in Detroit were forced to compete. This is the time for that to happen.

Demand it.

The Two Questions I Get Most Often

2008-11-07T14:33:00.004-05:00

In the wake of the elections, I'm getting another onslaught of attacks by Ron Paul supporters blaming me for their candidate's failure to secure the Republican nomination, and thus for the success of the Democrats, and therefore everything bad that they believe will ensure over the next four years.

Ahem. I've been blamed for worse.

So the most popular question I get is from them. It is one version or another of, "Oh yeah, Mongrel, what's a dollar worth then? Isn't it just a promissory note to pay back another meaningless dollar?"

No. One U.S. dollar is, in essence, a share in the U.S. economy. It's the legal tender of U.S. economic activity. As the economy grows, the value grows. When more paper is printed, it is analogous to a stock split, only you don't get the split shares. At least not directly.

Now for the second question: "Why is there evil and suffering in the world?"

Evil is in the world for the same reason that Napolean was at Waterloo. This world is the chosen battleground for the destruction of evil. That is why it was made. Not for constant comfort and ease, but as a final battleground.

Do not shirk from the fight. I am your Khan. I am your Khagan. Be strong.

You want to spend $700 Billion on what?

2008-09-28T21:56:00.004-04:00

Dear Genghis,
Is the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 a good thing?

Having conquered the largest empire in all of history may not make me an expert on running an investment bank, but I know enough to fire (OK, in my day it was more like set on fire, officials who are either so incompetent or so corrupt, that they would ask to send $700 Billion to companies owned by their old friends.

Do you know what your government will be getting for the tidy sum of $700 Billion? It must be several million mortgages backed by houses, right? Hardly. The current text of the as-yet unfinalized bill refers to buying "residential or commercial mortgages and any securities, obligations, or other instruments that are based on or related to such mortgages." Then there is further language authorizing Secretary Paulson to buy anything he wants from his old buddies. The point is that the stuff Goldman Sachs et. al. want to unload on the government are mortgage backedderivatives, not mortgages. These are instruments that very realistically may expire with absolutely zero value. You don't get to wait for the housing market to stabilize (as though $450k starter homes represent a stable value!).

Nobody -- nobody -- thinks these investments are worth what the government will pay if Secretary Paulson is allowed to buy them from his friends. How do I know? Quite simple -- the investment banks will see to the highest bidder, and Paulson is asking to be that bidder.

Secretary Paulson insists that the world economy will collapse tomorrow if his plan isn't enacted today. (Yes, just like he said over a week ago). The President has checked out, and Paulson can find dozens of investment bankers to back him up in saying that it's really, really important that they get that $700 billion check as soon as possible.

Pathetic.

Here's how an economy works. Somebody grows some tomatoes for you. You fix their plumbing. As long as you are willing to do something for someone else, and let someone else do something for you, the economy will continue. The final ingredient, of course, is money. And that is what the investment bankers want you to think we will somehow run out of.

First of all, a flood of restless capital is what got us into this mess, as I wrote 10 months ago. And I'm willing to bet that you're still getting letters in the mail asking you to borrow more money at a low interest rate for six months. Trust me, the money is still there.

There's one thing the Fed can do that nobody else can, and it isn't buy bad debt. They can control the money supply. They've gotten in this mess by printing cash in an effort to forever forestall a recession. Now Paulson wants out, but not before the most massive graft the world has every seen. Hey, everyone does it, why not do it big?

If the problem were really just at-risk loans "clogging" the balance sheets, the banks would call their customers and say, "That $400k house you bought that's really worth $220, yes, of course you can't afford $400k, but that didn't bother us. Tell you what, you only owe us $210 -- how does that sound?" Presto. A "bad" mortgage just went "good," you swallow the $190k loss, and the balance sheet is no longer clogged.

Yeah, they're in a bad spot. You can't do the above with a mortgage derivative. In some cases their loses are simply too high. That's why you have laws for bankruptcies and bank runs.

No, you wouldn't want to go belly up either. Not if you had a good friend with $700 billion in his pocket.

Coming in Second Place

2008-08-28T19:58:00.006-04:00

While I will not be revealing Senator McCain's VP selection, I will now reveal the last runner up. And no, Senator McCain will not be releasing the name of the final selection early ... the campaign tactics (in part derived from the battle philosophies of your Khagan) are to repeatedly test the enemy with small tactical strikes, to learn how he thinks, how he reacts, what he is capable of. For instance, suggest that you might step all over his convention. See how he reacts. Instead of stepping on the convention, release an ad congratulating him; see how he reacts.

The 2nd place finisher in the race for Republican VP was Neil Diamond:

Technically, the first choice for VP was Rachael Muhammad Gonzales, as the $23 million dollar software they purchased insisted that the surest path to victory was to find a running mate of that name, however no such person could be found. So, the computer said, the next best thing was to find someone with great appeal to disaffected Hillary voters, primarily women 55 to 69. Thus, the Jazz Singer.

Neil Diamond is certainly no conservative, but was vacuous enough to fill the VP role on virtually any ticket (I'm largely echoing the opinions of the political class here, I'm no expert on these things, so I hope nothing is lost in translation). The fallout came over the campaign theme song. To nobody's surprise, Neil insisted that one of his songs be made the new campaign theme song. Senator McCain and the political class found a few that they thought could work. "America", "I'm a Believer", "Solitary Man", "The Boat That I Row", they were even to take a chance with, "Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show", but Mr. Diamond would have none of them.

Neil insisted on using "You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore." That, it was decided, would sink the campaign, and nobody could understand why he would want to use it. He kept insisting, "It's my favorite song," and occassionally adding, "I think maybe I could bring Barbra Streisand onboard with it. Maybe."

I'm told someone finally told him what everyone thought of Babs, and maybe his music in general, leading to a blowup that threw out his voice. And that was that.

Congratulations, Senator Obama!

2008-08-27T21:06:00.005-04:00

I absolutely had to write tonight to congratulate Senator Obama on this great achievement, becoming the first African American to win the nomination of a major United States political party. A fantastic accomplishment, on behalf of his party and his nation.

Now, regarding his selection for vice president, I'm not so happy. I find it personally offensive that of the 6+ billion people in the world, Senator Obama saw fit to select the one man known to be the least likely to be one of my descendants. Senator Clinton is a much stronger, bolder pick, and we are at this time attempting to document her direct descent from your Khagan.

I have spent much of the last 7 months repeatedly watching Mongol, easily the best movie ever made, starring the amazingly handsome Tadanobu Asano. I'm perhaps a bit biased, as I was used extensively as a consultant on this film. You should watch this movie at least once each week. I'm am your Khan. I am you Khagan.

Regarding the presidential process again, you will recall my involvement with Governor Huckabee, and to an extent with Senator McCain, see below. These contacts led to my introduction to the American commanders fighting the Iraq war, and thus the inevitable defeat of the evil enemies there. These efforts are nearly complete, and I will meet with Senator McCain again presently.

My best to you all.

Now I'm Getting Calls From McCain

2008-01-15T13:29:00.000-05:00

I had not spoken to Senator McCain since our last discussion, in which he failed to received my endorsement, despite a certain mutual respect. So I was quite surprised to get a call from him yesterday, and even more surprised by the reason for the call.

"Genghis, help me out here. I'm doing everything I can to throw it to the kid, and nothing works. It's out of my control."

"The kid?"

"Huckabee. I saw that you endorsed him. Fair enough. It even got me thinking. Look, I had something to prove, it's true. After George W. Vader beat me in 2k, I really wanted to win. But now there's nothing left to prove. I can win this thing easily. So that's done.

"It's when I started thinking about putting the cabinet together, the first 100 days, all that. Honestly, it's exhausting. Hey, I'm up to it. I feel like I'm 68 again. But then I got to thinking about how I'll be remembered. About the funeral, you know. I mean, you've seen that handsome mug of me shaking Nixon's hand, right?

I assume he means this one:

"That's the picture I want on my casket. But if I win the presidency, I don't get that. I'll get a picture of me in office. Just look at those jowls. I look like I've been sucking face with a leaf blower."

"You'd give up the presidency because of a picture?"

"OK, you got me... it's really that I've got a lot of scores to settle in the Pentagon, and that's hard to do when you're the President. That's where the kid comes in. He's putty in my hands -- he'll make me SECDEF, no question about it. And that's the place to settle those scores -- Rummies old job, eh?"

To the best of my knowledge, Senator McCain had no way to know about my previous discussions with Governor Huckabee here and then here. So I wasn't particularly comfortable getting involved directly. As he pointed out to me, the Senator has already tried the basics: calling interviewers "jerks," telling a 13-year-old kid to shut up and sit down, talking about his age, telling people they can't get their jobs back, so forth. The problem is, as he puts it, "The more I do this stuff, the more they love me. It's a freight train, and I can't stop it."

I can't raze any districts in Michigan. I got away with it in Wyoming, but that's because nobody was paying attention. Assashoryu has already headed back to Mongolia, and Jimmy isn't a lot of help for this kind of thing.

Honestly, you people need to get you election mess straightened out. It's irrational. From here on I'm staying out of it. If you want to conquer Canada, let me know, but this whole election process rots.

UPDATE: McCain thought of a new one: touring a funeral parlor on primary day. Why didn't I think of that? Absolutely brilliant. I think I'll vote for him.

Just Between You And Me

2008-01-10T00:45:00.000-05:00

Many of you have sent me notice that some person named Rush has been reading my blog and pretending like it's his work. Well, you'll keep getting the real scoop here, and getting it first. As for Huckabee's earlier panic, the Wyoming primary calmed him down quite a bit. I was able to launch campaigns (of my own kind) in several key districts, razing voting locations, sequestering church-goers, and generally intimidating family-types that would be likely to vote Huckabee. All quite successful.

I talked to him again this morning. Feeling much more confident that things were under his control, he is actually considering, "just going ahead and winning this thing." The downside, as I think I mentioned in the earlier post, is that in 9 years his professional life will be essentially over, and he's much too young for that. But, as I assured him, there's much more to life than one's profession. It can actually be quite nice to just disappear from the scene for a long time.

What really got him thinking, though, was McCain's victory speech. He read it from his written notes. There are very few people that can pull that off and still be interesting, let alone inspiring. McCain isn't one of them. So Mike's thinking maybe he'll just spare himself and the country from having to go through that. No promises, though. As of this morning he's still undecided.

May Your Aim Be True

2008-01-08T23:00:00.000-05:00

In the last 36 hours, we've been flooded by readers in Iraq. Yes, I love you too. Yes, I understand. Be true to your CO, but always remember, in spirit I am your Khan, I am your Khagan.

One recent suggestion was quite intriguing. I have been besought to hold a poetry contest on the topic of Candidate Ron Paul, who at this writing has not yet quit. It appears that many were inspired by this poem (written by the candidate himself, though he may not remember):

There once was a man from Green Tree,
Who strove to defend liberty,
Now they call him a joke,
While he pulls on a toke,
But that's just between you and me.

If you feel that writing (or reading) poetry aggravates your fibromyalgia (or any of over 250 other conditions) then perhaps you should consider having that treated, so that your compositions, or enjoyment of said compositions, might continue with aggravations abated. I would not recommend anything untoward, but I'm just you Khan, your Khagan, and you have your God-given conscience to consult.

Entries will be judged solely on merit, and not at all on whether you support or reject Dr. Paul as candidate for President.

Again, to the many new readers in Iraq, you are by sons in spirit, may your aim be true and your armor hold. Fight with the full fury of your calling. I am your Khan. I am your Khagan.

UPDATES: Use "Ask me a question" link to the right to submit -- NOT the comments section; comments are generally tossed. Contest will go until I decide to stop it. Yes, a Mongolian warlord is absolutely qualified to judge a poetry contest, despite my earlier demonstration.

Caucus fallout: Huckabee calls me

2008-01-04T21:50:00.000-05:00

First of all, I want to point out that I have now heard two news show hosts use the term "Compassionate Machiavellianism," a term that I coined here. You can easily verify on Google that I invented the term -- I mention that only as a response to the great number of comments I have received concerning the merit of this blog.

But on to the important matters. Governor Huckabee, whom I endorsed several days ago, called today in something close to a panic. I'll relay as accurately as I can what he said. As I've told him, anything he says to me is fair game for my readers. So this is (roughly) what he said:

"I need help on this and there aren't many places I can turn. This has gotten way out of hand. I've been running for VP from the start, doesn't anybody get that anymore? If these other guys had the slightest political sense, I'd have never been up 20 points in Iowa. I mean, I did everything I could to blow it, but it's hard giving up 20 points. I sent Drudge that family photo -- what did that lose me? 2 points? I tried Pakistan, I waffled on my own ads, I hired Rollins -- there's a guy that hasn't won in 23 years, but even he couldn't lose me more than a point or so.

"A win in Iowa I could handle, but come on -- 9 points! And to Mitt who, I'm sorry, the guy tries to solve his "genuineness" problem wearing plaid -- this guy does not belong in the big leagues!

"The numbers are not looking good. McCain is supposed to win this thing for me, but how much help do I need to give him? And John, please, stop telling people you might be too old for a second term -- get on camera drinking a Coke or something, that's all you need to do to win this thing -- it's a WEAK FIELD!

"I may have to turn to Ron Paul for help -- somebody is going to have to scare my voters, but they've got to understand them first. And they can't. These are the same kind of people who try to understand statistics and come up with phrases like, 'statistical tie' -- it just isn't happening."

I calmed him down. This whole VP strategy was news to me, so I got him to explain it. It's really two things -- first, becoming President now means his life is pretty much over in 8 years, and I have to agree, he's far too young for that. Second, he'd like to repeat a trick he pulled off in Arkansas, you can get 2 1/2 terms by inheriting the office before your first election win. I asked him if he can count on that with McCain, and he assured me it was no problem.

OK, so he's calm now. There's still plenty of time to lose this thing, and we might even be able to help McCain with his weaknesses. For my part, I'll be heading over to the Wyoming primaries tomorrow. We've identified some key districts we can raze to suppress the vote. The governor assures me that pretty much anything could happen in Wyoming and the press won't cover it -- so Huckabee fans in Wyoming, stay home tomorrow or you'll meet my hordes.

Endorsement Fallout -- Romney Sends Warning

2008-01-04T01:02:00.000-05:00

I got a call from Mitt Romney this morning asking me to reconsider my endorsement of Huckabee. He sent me a 30-sec commercial pointing out that while both he and Huckabee are nice guys, Huckabee supports reparations for those overcome by the Mongolian Empire, and "in general has it out for Mongolia." The commercial is obviously professionally produced, but Romney said it isn't likely to get much air time in New Hampshire. Maybe I can get it posted on YouTube.

I'm not buying it. My endorsement for Huckabee stands.

Huckabeliever

2008-01-02T14:53:00.000-05:00

We concluded our interviews with the U.S. Presidential candidates today, having lunch with former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. I was singularly impressed with the man, both as a person, and as a candidate. To begin with, he is able to converse in a way that conveys an interest beyond his own daily ambitions. I have found that to be quite rare, though not entirely unheard of in today's politics. Further, you quickly learn in speaking with Huckabee that he holds views beyond the thin mantras of the consultants and strategists. Again rare. But unlike any other candidate, I found in him a depth and persuasiveness that cultivates trust. It is a quality of leadership that cannot be discovered in polls or purchased from political groomsmen. It is a quality which every people thirsts for, one that can make a nation great.

As Governor Huckabee said to me, "I'm a So-con, but I'm more than that. I'm a Fi-con, but I'm more than a Fi-con. I'm a Neo-con, but I'm not just a So-con, Fi-con, and Neo-con -- I'm what I like to call a Genghis-con, a leader, a man who unites a people and raises them up to greatness.

We talked for hours -- we even prayed together. Then, as I thought we were near to finishing the conversation, I said, not intending much by it, "If I can help you in any way, please let me know."

Much to my surprise, he asked me to join his campaign in an official role. "Look, I've got Chuck Norris, and he's done wonders for my national security chops, if you'll pardon the expression. But I'm still vulnerable on foreign policy, and let's face it, in Chuck's work he's usually defending against an aggressor. I could really use you to give me a little arrogant bunker mentality of my own. I mean, you wiped out nation after nation with no cause for provocation, and that could really balance out the whole "preacher" thing. So what do you say?"

I politely informed the Governor that while the idea was quite intriguing, my visa into the U.S. did not allow me to officially work for any candidate.

At this, Huckabee stood up, walked to the door, shut it, and returned to his chair. "It's O.K., Genghis, I'm your pastor now. I can't be forced to testify against you."

And there you have it. I not only endorse, but am now working for, Governor Mike Huckabee.

(See other candidate interviews: Edwards, Thompson, Clinton, Giuliani, Biden, Paul, Romney, Kucinich, McCain, and Obama.)

Barak Obama Has A Large Smile And A Big Friend

2008-01-02T14:38:00.000-05:00

We sat down for an interview with Senator Barak Obama, candidate for the U.S. President Democrat nomination. He had a big smile for us.

After an otherwise uneventful meeting, we were ushered to the door by this man, who spoke to us in flawless Mandarin, saying only, "I know where the bodies are hidden." Odd.

Close, Senator McCain, Close

2007-12-29T20:00:00.000-05:00

Navy Captain John S. McCain served the United States with great courage in the Vietnam War, forsaking the privileges of his birth for the harshest trials of self-learned honor. He also repeatedly bridled against authority, crimes that would have led to his death in my armies. So I approached our interview of him with great intrigue.

We discussed a great many matters -- the loyalty he cultivated from junior officers, the frequent disdain he held for senior officers, the role of the legislature in military policy, the current complexities in the Middle East, etc. Eventually the discussion turned to interrogations, where I noted that he had spoken forcefully against the technique known as waterboarding. His answer was quite frank:

"It doesn't work -- all it produces is a bunch of bad information, and I'm the only candidate that can say that. Yeah, I've got Huckabee saying it too, but the guy's a pansy and he looks afraid of the deep side of the pool -- just look at him. And Romney, don't even get me started on Romney. You want Romney to talk just give him a $50 campaign contribution and he'll spill his guts and his principals all at once. Giuliani? They'll never take him alive, so it hardly matters, does it? He can't talk about torture because deep down we all know he'd do it to any of us in a heartbeat. So I'm the only one that can talk about it. The Viet Cong broke half my bones, and you know what I did? I gave them the Packers offense lineup, that's what I did. Yeah, and -- hey, what's the longest you ever had a guy hold out on you?"

That sort of question makes me very uncomfortable, but given that he was an abused POW for over five years, I decided I'd give him the dignity of an honest answer. "Four minutes, fifty seconds."

"Wow! They beat me for days before getting anything out of me. You're saying nobody lasted five minutes with you?"

"As we both know," I replied respectfully, "the most coercive methods are not physical, but mental."

He chewed on this silently for several minutes, then he said what I feared most. "Show me."

We fought over the point for a half hour, during which time I witnessed first hand the McCain temper, as well as his innate disrespect for those of higher rank than himself. I suffered through much verbal abuse, to the point where Asashoryu was nearly in tears over the matter. So I gave in. I quietly asked Asashoryu and Jimmy to leave the Senator and I alone. They did, and Senator McCain held himself bravely.

For two minutes I sat silently, staring at a spot on the floor. Then I looked blankly around the room, as though I were alone, and asked myself aloud, "Where did the Senator go? I did not mean for him to leave." He waved his hands.

I continued to look blankly and he called out, "What do you mean? I'm right here. Are you daft? Hello? Hello?" This, of course, I ignored. Again I sat back silently, as his agitation turned to panic. "Oh, I get it. You're ignoring me, aren't you? Hey, cut it out. You can't ignore me! I'm a Senator, a maverick Senator. Stop it! Please, look at me. Say something about me! I'm moderate. Straight Talk Express."

"Please, I beg you. I exist, I tell you. I do. I am! I am! I am! Uncle! Uncle! Genghis, please! Uncle!"

Four minutes, forty seconds. Close, Senator McCain, close.

Miscommunication with Kucinich

2007-12-29T13:16:00.000-05:00

We had a morning interview with Democrat candidate Dennis Kucinich set for early this morning. When we arrived, we were informed, through the candidate's secretary, that there was some confusion about the nature of the meeting. Candidate Kucinich was under the impression that the meeting was to be a seance, and that I would only be present in the ethereal sense. I passed on my regrets regarding the misunderstanding, and my desire to hold a very substantive (in all senses of the word) interview.

He returned his regrets that I was still alive, and denied the interview.

Fortunately there was no such misunderstanding in our interview with Senator John McCain later in the morning. A report on that interview -- I have not quite decided whether I regret the actions I took there -- will be posted later today, probably before dinner.

Asashoryu, Jimmy, and I are all quite tired from covering this campaign. It has been a fascinating experience, but one we hope to soon conclude with an official endorsement. We appreciate the outpouring of interest and support from readers.

Your Email

2007-12-29T01:04:00.000-05:00

I promised a week ago to answer a question that had come up frequently in your emails; namely, whether the U.S. has an "arrogant bunker mentality" and should it, and so on.

First, there seems to be some confusion as to what "bunker mentality" means, with many people assuming it means gravitating towards simple-minded military solutions. That's not what it means. Merriam-Webster defines "bunker mentality" as "a state of mind especially among members of a group that is characterized by chauvinistic defensiveness and self-righteous intolerance of criticism."

So, when Secretary of State Rice responds to the criticism by saying, "The idea that somehow this is a go-it-alone policy is just simply ludicrous," and, "One would only have to be not observing the facts, let me say that, to say that this is now a go-it-alone foreign policy," she A) demonstrates that she does not know what "bunker mentality" means, and B) demonstrates that the administration has an arrogant bunker mentality.

But the larger issue that so many reader emails addressed is whether the policies themselves are effective. So let me give you a very brief overview of various recent Middle East policies.

1) Keep the various factions fighting each other, supplying them with semi-advanced weaponry. Since they need your weapons/intel/etc, they will continue to sell you oil. This option works particularly well (as it did for Reagan) when a second super power is playing the same game. When the second super power collapses, there is significant danger that all factions will wise up to the game, and begin to identify you as the real enemy. This may be particularly aggravated when the new President is a former CIA director.

2) Enjoy your sole super-power status (a.k.a. peace dividend) and abandon Machiavellian tactics, enjoying low oil-prices, so that your dependence on the Middle East rises just as fast as their dependence on you falls.

3) Start picking the newly empowered rogues off one by one, dramatically inflating oil prices and military expenses, in return for which you get to watch the occasionally satisfying hanging. This option is considerably slowed by the need to establish ground-up stable governments in the wake of the deposed regimes, in order to keep pumping and selling the oil.

The paper which produced the "arrogant bunker mentality" line (found here, or in audio version here -- also look for parts 2-7 there) presents an option somewhat like the first policy described above, only rather than making instability the goal, a drift towards stability is encouraged by demanding the institution of human rights and sound economic policies. Simultaneously, a track of energy independence is pursued, which removes the requirement of leaving stable governments to continue pumping oil.

Full disclosure: I didn't cut my teeth stabilizing governments by demanding the institution of human rights and sound economic policies. I took a different tack, but I won't bother you with the nuances. Having said that, the notion of playing factions against each other in order to influence policies towards the betterment of the average person in each faction, while meanwhile trying to remove your own need to play the game (what should we call it, "Compassionate Machiavellianism"?) -- I approve.

No Dirt On Mitt Romney

2007-12-26T23:01:00.001-05:00

In the US, you can put your telephone number on a "Do Not Call List" so that businesses cannot solicit you, because your right to a quiet evening is more important than their desire to do business with you. You cannot, however, be removed from the lists of political pollsters, because your right to a quiet evening is not as important as a politician's right to pander to you.

Similarly, if you wish to offer an opinion on the business prospects of Exxon, you must note whether the company that pays you to have an opinion, or any company broadcasting your opinion, has any ownership in Exxon, because that relationship might influence the opinion. However if you are a major radio personality offering opinions on political candidates, and are either networked on Premiere Radio Networks (wholly owned subsidiary of Clear Channel Communications) or are broadcast on some set of Clear Channel's 1200 radio stations (i.e., if you are any radio host anyone has heard of), you do not need to disclose whether one of said candidates is co-founder (retired, still profit-sharing) of Bain Capital, which, along with one other major player, recently purchased Clear Channel Communications. You would not need to disclose this because, well, hmmm.

And that brings us to Mitt Romney, the wealthiest of the candidates, and the man with whom I was able, along with Mongolian-born Sumo-wrestling champion Asashoryu, and my nephew Jimmy, to breakfast this morning. (Asashoryu insists that it is OK to use 'breakfast' as a verb since it cost $300 per plate.)

Candidate Romney was refreshingly direct in seeking an endorsement: "I'm pro-life, pro-gun, anti-gay marriage, pro-contructionist judges, and pro-Sumo. I can be pro-pillaging, but only through the primaries, then I've got to go anti-pillaging for the general. But if you can deliver New Jersey for me, I can go pro-pillaging in my third year. Now, can we do business?"

Of course I assured Mr. Romney that I had myself given up pillaging long ago, do not approve of it, and had no intention of going back to it.

"Well good, that certainly simplifies things. This may be easier than I thought." And he stood up, walked over to a gaggle of advisers some fifty feet away, chatted briefly, and returned. "O.K., I'm anti-pillaging. Listen, I know you'll be giving an endorsement soon. You'll want to think it over for awhile in privacy, and I'd like to provide a place where you can do that. How about a 6,000 square foot luxury residence beach-side in Miami? Would that be a good place for you to write a Romney endorsement?"

Jimmy joined in, "My uncle does his best thinking in a mud hut in the Khangai Mountains."

Romney stared at us blankly, "What's mud?"

Then, after about ten minutes of trying to relate to him the essence of mud, and its usefulness in such things as construction, he headed back over to his advisers. They discussed somewhat intensely for a good 20 minutes, and he returned.

"I'm pro-mud, but don't quote me on that yet."

Breakfast with Mitt

2007-12-26T14:07:00.001-05:00

The were fortunate to eat breakfast with candidate and former Governor Mitt Romney this morning ... a review of that interview is expected later today, however it has been a very busy day, and I cannot promise the interview will appear before tomorrow.

Jimmy and Asashoryu have expressed that they wished to join me in wishing all a Very Merry Christmas!

Ron Paul , The Man From Green Tree

2007-12-24T12:07:00.000-05:00

As noted before, this entire experiment in endorsing a U.S. Presidential candidate began with a more-or-less unprovoked attack by Ron Paul minions, which crippled my Inbox for over a week. So I have looked forward to meeting the man himself, and was finally able to do so yesterday afternoon in the candidate's office.

I began by challenging his positions on the Gold Standard, the merits of a Federal Reserve, prostitution, trade restrictions, privatized roads, the Department of Commerce, Social Security, medicare, the State Department, various matters related to War Powers, and so forth. Well over a dozen topics, which he handled in a reasonably unflappable manner. That is not to say that his stands on these issues are impressive (they are not), or even that he argued his points particularly well (he did not). After a few rounds he generally resorted to such retorts as "Well I guess you're more accomplished than Friedrich Hayek and Murray Rothbard," (I am,) "because that's who you're arguing with."

Jimmy noted that his voting against spending bills, into which he himself has inserted earmarks, is disingenuous given that his 'no' vote on the bill is irrelevant in a body of 435, while his personal insertion of the earmarks is the one aspect he could have controlled. Yet still, Dr. Paul remained composed, and defended his record semi-plausibly.

Then I stated in a very mild voice that as the man who led a small, divided nation to conquer the largest empire the world has ever seen, I could assure him that his doctrines of non-interventionism are the very lifeblood of an aggressively expansionist regime. That's when he became angry.

All of the sudden he stood up and let into me for slaughtering millions (I did), the Talibanesque destruction of numerous invaluable historical monuments (I did, but most of those would have been gone by now anyway) as well as the complete erasure of several cultures (ditto). And then we're both standing and yelling at each other, covering all the same topics that we had earlier, and all this time his aids enter the room with increasing frequency to remind him how important it was I and my delegation leave before the three o'clock hour. But I've really got him spitting mad now, and he won't let the argument end.

So three o'clock arrived. The door shuts, and we hear it being bolted from outside the office. The room falls silent, and Dr. Paul turns a wild, Cheshire-cat grin.

He sat down, pulled out a crisp U.S. dollar bill, and says, "Do you know how much this is worth? Whatever the government says it's worth." Then he pulls out, much to our surprise, a stash of cannabis, which he carefully rolled into the dollar, and says, "Now what's it worth -- let's find out."

Thus is began. The jovial genie was the first one out of the bottle:

There once was a man from Green Tree,
Who strove to defend liberty,
Now they call him a joke,
While he pulls on a toke,
But that's just between you and me.

Then the sad/thoughtful genie:

"Those Austrians swore the currency would be worth nothing by now, and you know what? Now I've got $30 million dollars to spend. I can buy three trips on a Russian Rocket and I can't get over 6% is Iowa. It's not quite irony, and I guess that's the saddest thing of all."

Then the self-reflective genie:

"Do you have any idea what it's like to scare a kid? No, I don't mean the kind of scare you give them when a Mongul warlord is about to slit their throat and lay waste to everything they've ever known, I mean REALLY scare a kid. The kind of scare you give him when you tell him that no matter how hard he works, no matter how much studying, toiling, and saving, no matter if every choice he makes is wise and honorable, it'll all be taken away before he turns fifty by an ignorant, blundering, and Machiavellian government. When you tell them the whole nation is under a spell by globalists, tri-lateralists, and interventionists. Do you have any concept how that feels?"

Then he fell asleep. In a few moments, the door unlocked, and we left.

Merry Christmas, Love Genghis K.

2007-12-24T09:32:00.001-05:00

We interviewed Ron Paul yesterday afternoon, and will have that interview posted shortly -- there are a few things said during the interview that we need to check our translations of -- we all speak English fairly fluently, but there are just some things that don't translate as well to the Mongolian mind. In this case, there's a bit of poetry to check on.

So I'll take this opportunity to answer a question that has appeared frequently in your emails. Many of you have asked "How does Genghis celebrate Christmas?" That's a good question -- for those that are unaware, Mongolia was perhaps the most religiously repressed nation on Earth for most of the last century. Don't blame me -- I was quite open to Christianity, and in fact my grandson attempted to establish it in Mongolia, asking the pope for 100 teachers. He didn't send them, but let's get beyond that, shall we?

So today I am allowed to speak of Christianity and Christmas, even while in my country, but Mongolia still suffers badly from the hurts imposed by the Communists and others. (For a view of John Lennon's world with "no religion", click here, or even here.)

I myself struggled between Buddhism and Christianity for much of my life, and now consider myself a "Kobe satellite" Christian. So I look forward to a wonderful Christmas holiday in the United States.

Genghis wishes you a Merry Christmas!

Joe Biden Sniffs Us Out

2007-12-22T21:57:00.000-05:00

It was said of my conquering hordes, that those we attacked first became aware of our coming, not by the sound of the galloping battle horses, but by the stench of the warriors who rode upon them. Ahhhh, for the days.

So perhaps Senator Biden can be forgiven for his first comments upon greeting our delegation.

"Wow, you're clean! I mean, I just didn't expect -- hey everyone, look, they've had a bath and everything!" Then he gets right up to Asashoryu, toe-to-toe, nose-to-navel, takes a big whiff, and says, "Petunias -- look at that." Creepy, yes, but Asashoryu took it well, and in fact it's true -- Sumo wrestlers have the highest hygienic standards in the world -- more on that another day -- and the man smells like flowers -- I don't know if it's the bath salts or what, they've just never been my thing, but I respect him. He is Sumo. He is yokozuna.

We said nothing for the first 30 minutes or so. Not a word. Never had a chance. Not even when he asked a question. The conversation went something like this:

"You know, I know more about Mongolia than any of the other candidates. More than all of them put together. I know it's gross national product. I know it's per capita income and the composition of it's armed forces. I know that Mongolia is the world's seventh largest producer of molybdenum I bet you didn't even know that, and they've got you on their currency. They ought to have me on the currency. I know you've got 15% of the world's deposits of fluorspar, and I know your Prime Minister, Sanjaagiin, has a little psoriasis problem that he doesn't like to talk about. He didn't tell you about that, did he? You see what I'm getting at? You see what I'm getting at here? I'm the only candidate qualified to take this job."

And on it went.

Eventually I was able to speak, and asked him about the situation in Iraq, which I have discussed with each of the candidates. So that sets him talking for another 30 minutes. He's saying again and again that there needs to be a political solution, that the solution is always in the end, political, that there has never been a military solution to anything. And I can't believe it, because he's looking right at me the whole time he's saying this, as though he expects I'll just come to the realization that it was the politicians, and not the generals, who established my Great Empire.

All this talking apparently made him hungry, because he asked Asashoryu to go get us all some donuts down the street. If you don't know about the Sumo dietary regimens, you have no idea how offensive this is, but Asashoryu is a gentle spirit. My nephew Jimmy and I immediately expressed great interest in seeing a real live donut shop, and insisted that we accompany Asashoryu.

I don't know whether the donut shop was any good -- we just took our chance to leave, and never came back.

Your email

2007-12-22T14:24:00.001-05:00

Jimmy has got the email working again (see sidebar), following it's devastation at the hands of Ron Paul supporters. Most of it was lost, but we have dozens of emails from the last week or so. Nearly one-third, interestingly, are asking me to comment on whether the United States has an "arrogant bunker mentality." This is obviously in reference to Candidate Mike Huckabee's assertions to that effect.

Well, I'm minutes away from meeting with Senator Joseph Biden, and will not be able to comment immediately. In fact, I find it wise to read the entire article (which Jimmy has located for me here), before commenting. It's a bit long, but fair is fair, so I will read it. Please be patient.

As to the many other emails, some I will be able to address, most I will not, and no, I am not the father of Ms. Simpson's baby.

Onward to Senator Joseph Biden. On this point, while it is a bit late in the case of Candidate Biden, now that the email is working again, if you have particular questions or concerns for me to address with a candidate, please email me (the link is to your right, somewhere). We have remaining appointments with Candidates Obama, Huckabee, Paul, Kucinich, and Romney. We are still working on settling on a time to speak with Senator McCain.

So we talked to Giuliani

2007-12-21T12:12:00.000-05:00

Jimmy is back in action, having fully recovered from the aftermath of our meeting with Fred Thompson. So all three of us (my nephew Jimmy, Mongolian-born Sumo champion Asashoryu, and I) were able to spend some time with the former mayor of New York, New York, Rudolph Giuliani.

We arrived, and though we were invited guests of the mayor, we were immediately stopped at the door by two of the biggest thugs you've seen in your life. Now, I've been around thugs and fighters all of my life, and let me tell you -- there is a big difference, and these two are of the former sort. I'm not saying they can't fight, and could probably beat most anyone they happen on, but they aren't fighters. Asashoryu is a fighter. These guys were thugs.

So we're stopped, and the stupider looking one of the two says, "Weapons check." That's not a phrase I was personally familiar with, so I just tried my best to mirror the stupid look on the man's face. "No guns in the campaign headquarters," he says.

Ah, OK, fair enough. We don't travel with guns.

But that wasn't good enough. The less-stupid looking one looks at Asashoryu and says, "He's a weapon. He stays outside."

I've by-and-large set my conquering warlord ways aside lately, but some things you just can't resist, can you? So I give Asashoryu the signal.

Asashoryu is a very peaceful man, one of the most peaceful I've met, but he just hadn't been himself since we left Mongolia, and besides, having not been able to meet his strict Sumo dieting regimen while crossing Iowa, I think he basically felt the whole country had it coming.

If you've never seen Asashoryu fight, find a way to do it. He's not just Sumo, he's yokozuna. And he's glory in motion. He made a lightening fast lunge at the dumber (looking) thug, gripping the man's throat with one hand, his groin with the other. He's low, center-of-gravity beneath the thug's, and if you've seen much Sumo, you know it's over at this point. So he lifts the dumber (looking) one into his not-quite-as-stupid-looking friend, top-of-head into the chin, knocking the less-stupid looking one out cold. Then the thug he's grabbing he sends flying.

I don't know if either one ever woke up. Don't really care.

What happened next still leaves me in awe. I just see a blur, and there's this little guy who's jumped up on Asashoryu's back .... one blow to the back of the head, and my fighter buckles under -- out cold like the others. The little guy -- it's America's Mayor, Candidate Giuliani.

So Giuliani points to me and Jimmy. "You two, inside." We go inside, and, I don't know how to explain it, but when the guy tells you to do something, you just do it.

"Sit down. No guns, we've settled that. No tape recorders, no cameras, no 'off-the-record' nonsense. No vandalizing, no graffiti, no pillaging, no racial slurs, none of that America-had-it-coming crap, either. You want some girls, you let me know, just not in Time Square. No chewing gum. No soliciting. No roughhouse, no carousing, no playing peeping-Tom." Then he gets this wide grin, sticks out his hand, "I'm the mayor, it's so good to meet you."

The guy's really warm. We talked the issues -- he's most concerned with terrorism, you know. He's got a pretty good handle on it, not that I'm used to looking at that side of things, realize. He was also quite nice about Asashoryu, once he realized who's skull he'd broken his hand over. I asked him not let word of the incident leak to the JSA, as they've really been out to get him lately. Not only did the mayor promise to keep a cover on it, he said he'd have his people talk to the JSA -- "I'll make it all go away, you've got my word on that." I hope so.

I apologized about the broken hand, and he says, "Hey, I was looking for an excuse to get back to the hospital -- the nurses in there, let me tell you!" Really a disarming sort of guy, pardon the expression.

OK, so can he get the Genghis Khan endorsement? I really like the guy, but let's just say his issues aren't my issues, so we'll see. Meanwhile Asashoryu is doing much better, and in fact, seems to be himself again for the first time since we left Mongolia. Whether it was your prayers, or the fights, I don't know. But on behalf of Mongolia, I thank you.

Next up -- Senator Joseph Biden.

A Worthy Candidate

2007-12-19T16:32:00.000-05:00

Jimmy came out of the trance induced in the aftermath of our Fred Thompson interview, but continues to suffer from aftereffects of nausea and exhaustion, so he was unable to join us in our interview yesterday of Senator Clinton. This is a terrible shame, because the interview was a tremendously positive experience.

To begin with, we were met in the lobby of the Clinton New York Headquarters by the candidate and a large entourage of primarily Secret Service agents. As a Khagan, I am not unfamiliar with being treated with great dignity, but to be met in the building lobby, rather than having to ascend to the top floors, was quite considerate, especially for a humble Mongolian emperor who prefers simple mud huts.

In fact, we were immediately escorted out of the building all together, and flown by a military helicopter to a beautiful park in New York. Somewhat stunned that we could meet surreptitiously in such a large, open, park, I asked Senator Clinton if it were somehow private. "It is today."

We quickly got to discussing the issues facing the United States, and our dialog was like music itself. I felt that the senator knew me, what drove me to my conquests, then to my retreat from world affairs, and finally to my more recent activities. We discussed foreign relationships, military strategy, monetary policy, wine, women, and song, macro economics, campaign strategies, even German poetry. The senator had command over all of these topics, and the pleasantry of his company can hardly be overstated.

Of course, I cannot offer an endorsement before meeting with the other candidates, but I will certainly say that there is at least one candidate in the Democrat field that I admire tremendously. I could well see an endorsement of Senator Bill Clinton for President of the United States.

A Man Of Mysterious Powers

2007-12-14T11:54:00.001-05:00

Jimmy made some progress on the AskGenghis Inbox since Ron Paul zealots laid waste to it last week. He said that if you submit a question now, it might make it to us, but no promises. And, as you will see, there is an additional complication.

We continued our U.S. Presidential Candidates study with an interview of Fred Thompson. I think. We all distinctly remember entering the Thompson headquarters. Just outside the headquarters there were a number of buckets, some filled with ice water, while others were empty. I remember thinking this must have something to do with the global warming that Senator Edwards discussed.

We were served very strong coffee on entering, which Asashoryu politely refused, due to strict dietary regiments (he is having great troubles here, please continue to pray for him), then ushered immediately into Mr. Thompson's office.

All three of us remember being warmly greeted by Mr. Thompson, a noble and gentle man. But our next memory, each of us, was that of lying outside the headquarters with Mr. Thompson's assistants throwing a bucket of ice water on each of our faces. So strange. By the time we felt reoriented, we realized we were well on our way to returning to our hotel rooms. And we had been at the Thompson headquarters for approximately 4 hours.

This was most disturbing, especially since I do not wish to qualify, or disqualify Mr. Thompson based on our mutual punctuated amnesia. After all, I sense a great strength in Mr. Thompson. So after some discussion, it was decided that Asashoryu would attempt a hypnosis to determine what had transpired in the Thompson headquarters. Asashoryu is not a professional hypnotist, but has been hypnotized by a great master prior to many of his fights.

So Jimmy was hypnotized while I watched. He seemed to be trying to recount our discussion with Mr. Thompson. I believe I heard, "actuarial planning horizon," "cola price inflation indexing," "diversity visa lottery," and "incentivize tranparent performance gap." Then something odd happened. Jimmy said, quite distinctly, "at the end of the day" at which point the trance seemed to ricochet. Both Asashoryu and Jimmy were left stone still, and I was left to, with great difficulty, awaken them both.

An hour later Asashoryu suggested that we try again with his master hypnotist, Kageyu Ikoma. So we did, teleconferencing in to him. Kageyu is amazing. He took almost an hour just to condition Jimmy before beginning to probe the discussion with Thompson. He pulled out, "strict constructionist judges" and "affordable, fully accessible, and portable," and "Dobson sucks."
Then Jimmy said, "at the end of the day."

The telecom link immediately went dead, and Jimmy has not responded to any stimulation since, and Kageyu Ikoma cannot be reached.

We will have to continue our candidate interviews with or without Jimmy. Please pray that he is not permanently damaged by this ordeal. As for the endorsement, I will have to reflect deeply on the disturbing developments at the Thompson headquarters.

Two Americas, No Endorsement

2007-12-10T20:10:00.000-05:00

Former Senator John Edwards began our discussion by informing us that there are two Americas. (Mr. Edwards is a Democrat, one of two primary political parties in the United States, but these two parties, as he explained to us, are not the same thing as the two Americas.)

Mr Edwards first described his two Americas as the "rich" America and the "poor" America. After some questioning, followed by our insistence that having a one-story house does not constitute "poor" a lengthy argument erupted (please pray for Asashoryu, he has not handled the adjustments that travel necessitates well, and, following a narrowly avoided cavity search at LAX, has been quite disturbed.) over our abilities to understand certain subtleties of the English language.

Eventually Mr. Edward retreated to the description of the two Americas as "normal" and a word we were not familiar with -- "yucky." He went on to explain that he is in the normal America, but claims rights to the votes of yucky Americans (Mr. Edwards assures us that there are far more yucky voters than normal voters).

The right Mr. Edwards claims to the yucky voters caused some confusion, but in order to prevent another altercation, I did not insist on a full understanding. As I have it, and again, I did not fully understand, Mr. Edwards will win the yucky voters with the promise of making nearly all of the normal Americans yucky as well. This is especially important, forgive me if I misunderstood, because of global warming. Normal Americans are much better at causing the global warming -- or not causing it, perhaps.

To be honest, these last details were not terribly important to me. A great leader must seek to unite a diverse people. In such, Mr. Edwards is the very antithesis of a Great Kahn, and cannot wield power, even if it is handed to him.

I have been told not to make an endorsement, or rule out an endorsement, until I have spoken with all of the candidates, but I am the Great Khagan of Mongolia, and my decision stands.

Coming To America

2007-12-05T23:26:00.000-05:00

Asashoryu, Jimmy, and I are en route to the United States. We are over the Pacific now, will land in Los Angeles, fly from LAX to the International Airport of Tijuana, and cross from Tijuana back into the U.S. Jimmy says this will be much quicker than waiting to get through security at LAX.

Got you, right? Just kidding. So you see I have been studying the political situation in the U.S. so that I can ask challenging question and give a good endorsement.

Jimmy has scheduled time with candidates Biden, Kucinich, Romney, Edwards, Osama, and Thompson. He says there are several more -- this is a very big race! No wonder too, when I was in politics it was a much riskier business.

The flight is long. Asashoryu is getting very hungry. Everyone on board agreed to give all their food to him, but he's hungry again and there's still two hours left on the flight. Asashoryu is very sensitive to his blood sugar level, so I fear what will happen if the flight attendants do not find more food.

On My Way

2007-12-03T23:09:00.000-05:00

My nephew Jimmy says the email is gone. Completely useless. May not work again for weeks, if ever. He's spitting furious at Ron Paul, but now I almost admire the man. From what Jimmy says, his hordes are unstoppable. Utterly invincible. Complete desolation. Oh, for the days.

Jimmy is also angry at me for admitting that I didn't know who Ron Paul was. He says everyone who has a blog has to know who Ron Paul is. OK, fine, so now I know. But that wasn't enough. "Uncle," he says, "you're an important world leader. I want you to go to the United States. I want you to meet with the people who are running to be President."

I told him no. I just don't travel as much as I used to. So then I'm telling all this to my good friend Asashoryu, and Asashoryu says, "Temujin, it is a wonderful idea. You should do this. I will go with you, it will give us time to spend together."

So I agreed. Jimmy and Asashoryu will make all the arrangements. They say all I will have to do is talk to the candidates and make an endorsement. At least I will get to spend some time with an old friend.

Please, watch the language

2007-12-02T22:38:00.000-05:00

Paraphrasing 15 emails from Stryker1053, Valkry214, and so forth:

Khan, you war mongering Mongoloid. Your foreign policy was a disaster. Something-something-something- tangled in foreign alliances -- something, something, something, money with no real worth, -- more somethings -- at least you were pro-life.

First, when you call me Khan, you are calling me your leader. If you are here to talk, and not to listen, call me Genghis, or Temujin. Second, warmonger is one word, but more importantly, I am a warrior, not a warmonger. I go to war, I don't stir it up. Third, Mongoloid is an adjective; I am a Mongol.

OK, my nephew says I shouldn't admit this, but I didn't know who Ron Paul was. Not the slightest idea. But I've known his type. We have them in Mongolia. Always have. The first I remember was a construction engineer I sent to Angkor Wat, the temple to Vishnu, in hopes of making something of a duplicate for our people. He comes back and gives me all these reasons why the construction techniques, "won't work." It's standing there as real as a Yak turd and he's still telling me why it "won't work."

I know, I know, it wasn't something we were up to. Yes, we ended up having to scratch the whole culture thing and go for military victory instead. But if it's too complicated, just say so. Why say it can't work if somebody is already doing it? I do not regret his end.

I miss the simpler times as much as anybody. But some things have to be left behind. Gold currency is a great way to pay tribute to a Mongoloid warlord. It's reasonably compact, and divides easily. But how much did you really need?

There just isn't enough precious metal to use as currency -- do you know how many people are paying strangers to cut their toe-nails -- it's amazing. There's far too much commerce to have it all trace back to metals.

I'm a simple man -- monetary policy is far beyond me. But it works. There are hiccups, but if you want someone to cut your toe nails, you're going to have to trust someone to maintain your currency.

The same is true for foreign policy, and military policy, and all the other things that few people understand today. You cannot run away from it. The world will not stay put.

Oh, For a Mud Hut.

2007-11-29T00:58:00.000-05:00

Reader Todd Peterson asks this question:

Dear Genghis Khan,
Can you explain what the U.S. subprime mortgage meltdown is all about? And please don't use the term "derivatives."

I'm a bit more comfortable answering questions about Asian land campaigns, but I'll see if I can help.

This goes back to the dot-com bust, the wider stock market sell-offs, and the Enron/Worldcom/Tyco/etc scandals. Enormous amounts of money left the stock markets, as well as the venture capitalist (pre-stock) markets. But money does not sit still. It cannot.

The real-estate professionals went after it. The pitch was nothing new. "Your home is the largest and best investment most people ever make," "Real estate has never had a widespread decline," "There's no substitute for living in your investment" "Invest in what you know, and what can you know better than your house?"

U.S. tax law is believed to encourage home ownership. But it doesn't. It encourages mortgage debt. It encourages you to borrow as much as possible from the banks, and to put your home up as collateral. And since it's the banks business to loan, it's easy to reach an agreement.
How much is "as much as possible?" Well, the banks assign odds to you going bankrupt, and they figure out how much it'll cost them if you do. With money flooding from the stock market into housing, house prices climb fast, and as long as they do, the bank loses little or nothing when you go bankrupt (they get the house). There's a temptation to act as though prices can't go down, and historical evidence that it won't happen. So the bank continues to assign low risk to you going bankrupt, and looks for ways to get you that pricey house.

You see what happens now, right? You get a big loan despite the risk, allowing you to spend more on a home, further pushing up prices, and the cycle continues.

This is always a risk when you make policy based on something having never happened before. The policies based on that assumption may cause that something to finally occur. And that's exactly what happened. Houses stalled in value. Those "creative loans" that the banks found a way to produce started to fail because they assumed ever-rising home values. The cycle reverses.

Now, the banks have been selling these loans all over everywhere, assigning risks based on models that are now proved wrong. Nobody knows what to value these loans at anymore, and they're showing up in places many people never expected, such as their brokerage house. So people are pulling their money back into their own hands, and the models said that wasn't supposed to happen either. It's a mess.

So what should you do? If you can figure out where the money will go next, get their first. Non-U.S. markets isn't a bad bet. I always recommend the Mongolian Stock Exchange. (Full disclosure, Mongolia is mine.)

Empire Building -- So you've conquered some lands

2007-08-27T22:59:00.000-04:00

Genghis:

Now that my generals are finally demonstrating military progress in an ongoing conflict, my domestic political opponents have changed tactics. They are attempting to topple the provincial government I've supported in the conflict area, so that they can use the so-called "lack of political progress" as an excuse to force a withdrawal of our military troops, thus ending the conflict -- in my country's defeat. For some reason, they believe that this would represent a domestic political victory for their faction.

How should I react?

--
W

Yes. OK. It would help if I had some more details about your situation, but I will do what I can for you. My nephew explains to me that with the internet people want anonymity. So you sign your name 'W'. This I don't understand. My nephew says it would be like a field officer sending a messenger, and the messenger refusing to tell me who sent him. I said, "Jimmy, I would know who sent him." And Jimmy-Krak says, "Uncle, it's not like that anymore, you can't just torture people." I say, "I would not need to torture him, I could tell from his smell where he was from, and then I would know who sent him." So he starts on this, "What if he took a bath," and so on, and we argue for an hour, but he's a good nephew and he knows how this internet works so I say, "OK, I think I understand."

Good then. You have generals and you've conquered some land, very good. So you are a Khan, then.

W-Khan, here is how to become a great Khan. Know that you cannot conquer many lands while you still have political opponents at home. But also know that your political opponents will lose their power if you conquer other lands. This has always been true. The timing is not easy, and you must be diligent. Early successes must be used to destroy political opponents, otherwise you will not continue to have successes.

Perhaps you know that I had a very difficult time with my sworn blood-brother, Jamuqa. He would rather tear apart the Monguls than allow me full leadership, and this had to be dealt with. It is not easy to break the back of a blood-brother, but it is better than allowing a great people to destroy themselves with internal conflict. So do what you must do, finish them. But if you wait, you have lost the advantage.

None of that is to say that your opponents are wrong, just that they must be dealt with if you want to be a great Khan. What is this nonsense about supporting a provincial government? Assure me that you are not assisting the lands you have conquered. Who has conquered whom, in that case? Have them pay you tribute, and let them worry about the details of governing. Only supervise enough to make sure they are not reforming significant armies, and if they fail to bring you tribute, take it from whatever resources they have, whether gold, yaks, or fertile wombs. OK? Simple enough.

Let the Dragon Sleep

2007-08-23T12:43:00.000-04:00

Many thanks to Dear Reader Charles for the first question:

Great Leader,

What should we make of this story about a remake to Enter the Dragon?"

A very good question. Perhaps you are aware that Bruce Lee is of Mongul blood, and therefore I count him as a son to me. So I find this remake most disturbing. For the younger audiences who are unaware, the title Enter the Dragon has nothing to do with the plot of the movie, but instead with the movie's purpose, the entrance of Lee Jun-Fan, known as Bruce Lee, to America.

So what is the purpose of a remake (titled Awaken the Dragon)? There cannot be another Dragon: Lee was a first to the West, and there is only one first. Perhaps Warner Bros, with whom Lee had a contentious relationship, feel that they are the Dragon, and would like to rewaken their oppression of foriegn actors?

But the truth is probably much simpler. Note that the remake no longer targets drug and slave trafficking, but instead targets fight clubs. It is true, it targets fight clubs. Hmmm, people getting together to practice the arts of physical combat -- sounds like the kind of thing Lee started, not the sort of thing he would target in a movie.

It is a shameful thing, and the work of those who do not know what it means to fight.

"I'm not a master. I'm a student-master, meaning that I have the knowledge of a master and the expertise of a master, but I'm still learning. So I'm a student-master. I don't believe in the word 'master.' I consider the master as such when they close the casket." -- Bruce Lee